Dear Tonya, Thank you very much for yet another amazing podcast! I mean someone that you run into in the gym or in your interaction during your day as you go about your day that you don't know but acts or says something that is rude and out of line by my standards which gets me all fired up but I don't want to act like they do!
Thank you! Great questions Sima! Wanting someone to behave a certain way is different from boundaries. A boundary is stating what you will and won't accept and having consequences in place when it occurs. For example, a boundary would be, "I don't allow people to wear shoes in my house.
If they refuse which they have never done , I would ask them to leave. You can do that without drama. However, when someone is rude, you can't control that. People simply behave the way they do. What you do have control over, however, is how you respond. When someone makes a comment I consider rude, I notice the thoughts in my head. Do I begin thinking rude comments? Do I say something rude? It's a beautiful access point to go in and work on yourself.
And, of course, there are times I strongly and unapologetically tell them that I didn't appreciate it, and because I've done so much work on myself, I can mostly do that without drama. Their comments and behaviors are about them. Mine are about me. Hope this helps! Thank you Tonya, somehow every single blog or podcast you send out speaks to me at precisely the right moment. My words for the year fit the Elegant woman to a T.
I have removed all negative feeds from my Facebook, so when I do go in, only the posts I enjoy are there. I am still working on the allowing my emotions to rule me, I am getting there. I am improving my self discipline to get what I need to do done and still have time to enjoy what I want to do.
I have cleared out many items from my home that do not serve me. Still more to go, but already I feel my energy shifting. And best of all, I am finding peace within myself at last. What can I say, you are amazing in the way you inspire me to truly live my best life and bloom where I am planted xoxo. Oh Catherine, this made my day! Remember, it's a lifelong process. I have those days when I am not so elegant:.
However, I've lightened up, and ironically, the moment I take the pressure off of myself to do anything of this perfectly, I begin to feel more elegant. Oh, the irony! Thank you for your kind words. Had I grown up with that definition of "elegant" I'd never have chosen the career I did engineer , never gotten 2 tattoos I love, never played with some of the bad boys I met along the way, never done a LOT of the very things in my life that have made me who I am today.
May I add one? Maybe that was three, sorry. Thanks a dozen times over for this. Elegance does not mean weakness. And as for rude people? Maybe that's another thing elegant women do: never take anything personally. Janet, I love everything you said. Yes, the Elegance myth we are raised with makes any woman not want to embody it. But, elegance is actually very simple.
I'm glad this post inspired you to reconsider the word. As for your contradiction, I'm full of them, because there is no one way, right? I believe that it's our intention behind whatever we do that matters. Sometimes, it's imperative that we speak out.
Sometimes, it's best that we don't. Not taking things personally I'm adding that one to the list, because it's true. What others do speaks of them, not you. Thoroughly enjoyed this very thoughtful post, especially that first reminder of not falling down that rabbit hole known as social media-which invariably leads to the second idea of comparison to others. Love how you equate elegance with being genuine, present and self aware, rather than the usual connotation of haughtiness or affectation.
The red velvet rope idea is perfect! So delighted you will be podcasting! These are characteristics that I want to cultivate in my own life. It is one of the goals on my in list. She has a healthy knowledge of her strengths and weaknesses.
She knows what she can handle and what she has to stay away from. She knows when to wisely take risks and when to stay close to home. She is cognizant of how people see her and cares about the impression she makes on them.
She pays attention to emotions but is not a slave to them. A classy lady maintains her boundaries because she knows the consequences of compromise. She can gracefully switch gears even when all the details are yet to be discovered. She knows when to press for information and when to be carefree. A classy lady is at peace in the midst of chaos and can engage with issues to find solutions to problems. She recognizes that fear is a mechanism with two faces. On the one hand, it can protect us from danger and harm but on the other hand, fear can hold us captive and prevent us from taking necessary risks.
Instead of being held captive, a classy lady faces her fears and finds ways to tackle the risk in a healthy manner. She refuses to live a life stagnated by shoulda, woulda, coulda. While she knows that pride goes before a fall, she possesses great self-respect. She knows that she must first respect herself if she expects anyone else to. A classy lady understands that there is a difference between Christlike generosity and selflessness and allowing people to trample all over you.
She knows that fake-it-till-you-make-it comes in handy in many a situation, she never pretends to be someone she is not. What you see is what you get. A classy lady is comfortable in her own skin, embraces her individuality, and makes it her business to be the best version of herself. She knows how to speak the truth with love.
She knows that timing is just as important as word choice as are tone of voice and body language. She seeks to uplift, not to tear down. She believes in lifelong learning and growing in wisdom and experience. It takes effort, attention, and practice but she knows the value of proper posture.
Graceful people are also known for being incredibly respectful to the people around them and they are always thoughtful in their actions. Instead, they make a point of treating other people with the respect that they need and deserve. Be tactful. Graceful people demonstrate tact in their daily interactions.
They know when to be discreet and when to deliver information in private. Tact is key when it comes to being graceful. For example, if your friend just went through a breakup, you might not want to make a comment about it in front of a group of people.
Help other people. When you help people, you should do it out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in exchange. They learn to forgive people and to move forward, instead of letting anger dominate them.
Besides, holding a grudge will make you a more bitter, less happy person. Take criticism with grace. Whether your boss is telling you to improve your negotiation skills or a friend is telling you that you need to stop being late to everything, you should learn to take criticism at face value, and to use it to improve, if it truly is constructive.
Of course, if people are just criticising you for the sake of being mean, then you should ignore it. But when people are truly trying to help you, you should be receptive to it so you can improve as a person.
I don't really understand how to look graceful. For example, in a book someone might say: envied for her grace and beauty. How do I be like that? Grace and beauty are powerful characteristics in a human being. A person can choose between two ways to act toward a situation: one way is to go all aggressive about it by losing your temper and self control, and the other way is to be in control by handling the situation and being your own master.
A conception that grace is only walking in style, being humble, generous, and kind. Grace includes all those characteristics that come under humanity. One must be delicate toward situations and choose to face it rather than run away. The confidence you get in yourself is what people will envy about you. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Try not to completely tilt your head down to look them in the eyes.
Instead, try to look down with just your eyes. If this is uncomfortable or awkward, you can look down, just try not to make it very noticeable.
What should I use? Arine Anime. Make your lips stand out; for example, add a gloss rather than a regular lip balm. It'll make your lips appealing yet not too bold. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Just follow all the other steps more carefully, and even if you don't wear makeup, try to let your entire face be shown, as in pulling your hair up out of your face, or making a cute hairdo on top of your head to let your entire face be shown.
Not Helpful 0 Helpful 4. Mary Sue Just look between their eyes or eyebrows. They will not notice any difference. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 5. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube.
Wear clean clothes. You don't need designer clothing; just have a sense of style and presentable clothes and hair. Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0. Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0. Whenever you descend stairs, or are going down, always make it appear as you are traveling up. Keep your shoulders open and your head and gaze held high. If you trip, give a little smile and come out of it smoothly; instead of people laughing, they are awed by your recovery.
Forget about how your body "should" be bigger, smaller, smoother, hairier, a different color, or whatever. It is what it is, and the truth is it's pretty cool. The bodies you see in magazines usually aren't real anyway.
How you look to others: the more you understand this the better you will progress. Try not to say "like" too much, as it gives off the impression of being immature. Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0. Being graceful physically also means not being too bad on the eye - if you have a lot of acne, get a facial cream.
Acne gives off the impression of being dirty or that you don't wash your face. This rigidity is not really poise. Remember that if you want to be a poised and graceful woman, you still need to maintain your femininity. Feminine energy flows with the energy of life. It is sometimes chaotic, sometimes calm, and at other times, even melancholy and dark. It seems to me that the definition of poise has also evolved.
Stoicism is a wonderful trait to have in the right context and at the right times. In fact, stoicism has gotten humanity through a lot of suffering and tough times. Even if you are seeking to be poised, you can take the issue of composure lightly. Femininity also involves an element of irrationality, and some people men and women included , make this trait of feminine energy wrong.
This is because the feminine body is not a vehicle of consistency. Women have cycles and their emotions change according to the people and the world around them. Poise comes from a deeply assured sense of self and authenticity.
This authenticity is not possible if a woman is disembodied. So, to achieve the balanced nature and the confidence that is necessary in order to be a graceful woman, you need to re-sensitise your body, connect to yourself, and allow yourself to feel your emotions authentically. They try to control things more. In fact, confidence has nothing to do with controlling yourself or your life all the time.
Confidence and poise go hand in hand, but confidence comes from being a woman of value. When you can bring value to the metaphorical table, you will easily achieve that elusive sense of confidence that is essential for grace and poise. Click here to find out right now….
If you lock yourself into one identity, then guess what other people who know you will do? They will see you as only this one kind of person too!
However, if you act like a graceful and elegant woman who is poised, and believe in it, other people will, too! If anyone is going to give you respect something that often ensues when you are a poised and graceful woman , you have to give it to yourself first. You need to acknowledge your past mistakes, know that you are human and that most of us have a skeleton or two in our closet.
0コメント